Major shake up at the White House.

President george bush jr. resigned today in disgrace. Not because he was booed while throwing out the first pitch (America's Pastime, indeed), but because of the commencement of impeachment proceedings in the House of Reprensatives. The articles of impeachment presented by Congressmen Waxman, Conyers, and Kucinich read like a laundry list. On top of which sits "Lying and knowingly misleading the American Public into an Invasion of the soveriegn nation of Iraq." Vice president cheney could not be reached for comment, as he has moved back to his Wyoming ranch after an existing heart condition became aggravated. His waning health has most in Washington thinking his resignation is imminent, which would leave Speaker Pelosi at the helm in the Oval Office. Let's hope she'll do more with that power than she has as Speaker.

In future presidents news, Senator Hillary Clinton, after being declared the loser in the Texas primary/caucus and her direct connection to the "vast right wing conspiracy" was exposed, announced that "for the sake of the Party" she is ending her bid for the Democratic Nomination for President of the United States of America. And after the recent disqualification of Senator John McCain from the race for breaking campaign finance laws. It is simply a matter of time and formality until Senator Barack Obama is sworn in as President number 44.

In economic news, the Supreme Court has ruled in favor of the victims of the predatory lending schemes of large investment banks like Bear Stern, who recently received government welfare in the form of Billions of Dollars in loans and assurances, causing a renewed confidence among average citizens, investors, and consumers in the United States of America's economic policies. And after the UN, NATO, and a host of nations around the world agreed to work with Our New Leadership in fixing the problems of security, infrastructure, unemployment, and government development in Iraq, Oil prices have, after six years of almost steady increase, finally begun to come down.

Oh and one more thing...

APRIL FOOLS!